Here Comes the Sun...

I once heard someone say that we can only appreciate the miracle of the sunrise if we have waited through the darkness...



I have learned a lot about myself this year. I was suffering so long i forgot how to breath. Every morning it was hard to come to my feet. It felt like I was stuck, trying to get up, but something was pushing me down. I forgot how to laugh and enjoy the life I live. As much as I surrounded myself with people who I care about, I still felt alone, broken or not good enough. I kept questioning God, "why do I feel this? what is wrong with me?"



The truth is that nothing was ever wrong with me, I just hadn't opened my eyes to the entire picture. What I was doing was putting up a wall that sheltered me. I guarded my heart, I became bitter and pushed people away. I felt worthless and un-pretty. Selfish and tossed. But what I couldn't do was close the doors behind me. I let the past overwhelm my present and my future. No matter what I did, I just couldn't stop dwelling. But God promises better than what I've ever known.



"Forget former things, do not dwell on the past." (Isaiah 43:18)



And what i couldn't accept was God has already conquered this.



I stayed there for so long, hoping things would get better. That certain things would just go away if I avoided them. When my world would fall apart, I'd give into temporary joy. I already became prisoner. I couldn't find my way, no matter how many paths I tried. I gave up too easily. I wouldn't let God into my heart. I kept it locked away with heavy chains no one could pull apart. Not even me.



It's been a stormy season. Unlike any I have ever known. But this is where a story begins. My testimony of truth and restoration. The colors of hope and redemption. There is a brighter side, if you just let God in. Let it all go. Completely lay it at His feet. Learn to breathe all over again.



Here's a song that's playing in my heart today; (Nichole Nordeman, "Sunrise")



"You are sunrise

You are blue skies

How would I know the morning If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon

You’re the light of a new dawn

So thank You, thank You

That after the long night,

You are sunrise."



There is always darkness. There is always night. But joy always follows. Sunrise always comes.